It’s not uncommon to hear boy-meets-girl stories where the characters, starting out as friends, start dating, and whose budding relationship seem to hold good promise… until the boy starts to drift away. The boy was gone even before the relationship could blossom. Why does this happen time and time again?

Often, a girl falls in love too soon with some nice guy in her life. Everything might be going well for a while between the two of them, and so she tends to have raised hopes that there could really be something special in their friendly relationship. If the guy happens to send conflicting signals, the girl begins to question the real score in their relationship and make the mistake of revealing her deepest feelings – hoping that her feelings of affection would be returned. The sad truth is – it’s not likely to happen. Men don’t work that way.

For a girl to sum up enough courage and lay out all her cards at once means that she’s likely to have only true feelings for the guy. Considering a girls’ emotional vulnerability, it’s not a wise move. Of course, anybody must mean well in being honest – but it might do more harm than good. There’s really nothing wrong with trying to win someone, but a girl must know where she really stands. If she’s seen as a friend, nothing she says is likely to change the guy’s mind. Attraction cannot be forced. The girl must not try too hard and drive the guy into a corner. Wittingly, he’ll push past the girl and run off!

Before a girl may become blinded by the illusion of winning some guy’s heart and does things to jeopardize her chances, it pays to take these following lessons by heart:

• You can’t hurry romance. Girls shouldn’t move mindlessly into a relationship if they don’t want to scare the guys away. It’s not because the girl is disliked. It could be that the guy has every good intention to preserve the friendship, and in his judgment, moving on to the next level would jeopardize whatever good relationship already exists between the girl and him.

• The speed at which a guy and a girl develop intimacy vary. Feelings for each other might be mutual, but it doesn’t mean they’re of the same emotional wavelength. Guys are particularly slower to catch up with girls in this aspect. If they rush into it – girls have to be all the more careful. They could be making the mistake of choosing a lousy partner.

• Just like any plant, a relationship has to grow strong, deep roots. Surely that doesn’t happen overnight. Nurturing and cultivating a relationship – a relationship that is based upon deep friendship takes time. It will have to grow naturally.

There are no shortcuts in life – even in relationships. Marvel in the opportunities of friendships. Sooner or later, a romantic dream will unravel. By the time the guy makes his first move, it’s really worth the long wait.

aaron adams specialises in relationship matters for women. visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com to find out the truth about why a man commits or withdraws.

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